Learn the hard truth

Learn the hard truth, Mi'ja — when it is over, it is over.

Those words written on letters no longer matter.
Those spoken words are nothing but empty words.

It doesn't matter how much waiting was done.
It doesn't matter how much feeling was felt.
It doesn't matter how long you have been together.

It simply doesn't matter.

Once one party decided to move on, it is game over.
No meeting halfway. No adjustments to make.
No more you and him. It's just him, then you.
You can try to ask him time to talk to you.
You can beg.
You can drop your pride to the ground.

Oh dear, you just drawn water from an empty well.
He no longer has the responsibility to even see you.
Do you think it's unfair? No. It wasn't.

Today marks your official way to complete acceptance.
Bid your goodbye to the sky.

This is your glorious way to moving on.
This must be the last time you will write about him.

Dust yourself off then go on.

Abba Father

I don’t know how to make this right. But Jesus you are my Lord, you have the right to decide on how I spend this life. You decide where I go, You decide what to do with this and not.


Lord, on my own I mess up my life. My life is full of brokenness, scars and sins from my mistakes. I thank You that You never ever gave up on me. Everyday You give us new opportunity to follow You. Lord, thank You that even though everything inside of me wants to run away... You are changing me.

Holy Spirit change my heart. Holy Spirit change my urges or impulses to do the right thing. Lord, I don’t know how You gonna do it. I don’t even know where to begin with myself. But Lord, I trust You. You’re gonna do it. Jesus, You are my Lord, my Savior. You’ll gonna fix my heart, You’ll gonna fix this mess...everything I’ve ruined. Because You are a good God, You are a good Savior, the only Lord worth following.

Thank You Jesus for this relationship with You. Help me to never walk away from this relationship. I will always know, whenever I am tempted to sin, Jesus You are the Lord worth following. You are the only one who is this good, this kind, this loving to us.

In Jesus name. Amen.

Life is a gift. Life is beautiful.

Many times in my life, I thought of ending it. Not because I hated life itself. I sort of just want to hide. Hide from the pain. Hide from the shame. Hide from the struggles.

I wanted the pain to stop.  Kasi minsan sobrang sakit. Ang sakit sakit. More hardly because you know that not everyone will understand the pain.

I asked myself "why?"

"Why end it for someone who didn't choose you?"
"Why??? Hindi ka naman pokemon para piliin..."
"Why? just because it hurts? Because you think you're not worth it?"

Realization came in...

It was utterly SELFISH...

I owe my family and the people who loved me an apology. I love my family so much. People that I know who will be hurt when I ended it.

I owe myself an apology for all the time I punished myself for failing. Sa mga araw na ginutom ko sya kakaiyak because of being unchosen.  Sa mga stupid decisions just to prove a point.

I owe Him an apology. In fact the biggest one, for dishonouring the gift of life that He has given me.

I'm here to stay. I'm here to fight.

By staying, even though I will still have failures and disappointments. I still have the chance — to learn, to grow, to love and be loved.

If you're reading this and you're in pain, may be feeling hopeless. Go pray. Ask Jesus for help and enlightenment. Iba-iba naman kasi tayo ng trigger. Iba-iba din ng lightbulb moment. Yung moment na matatauhan ka.

Eat something good. Walk.  Go out. See nature. Sleep. SURVIVE. STRIVE. LIVE.

Life is a gift. Life is beautiful.