Way back in 90's, we have to wait for days or weeks before receiving a letter from our loved ones. I can still remember, we even have to record voice tape messages to be sent to my Auntie in Japan and Saudi Arabia. It take so much time and effort that we really have to mean what we say in every paragraph.
While in this internet generation, everything became instant, from noodles to relationships.
People can send message real time and get to know a person much quicker because we can talk to them anytime of the day. So, it seems that the relationship will progress faster. But the frequency of us talking to each other does not change our emotional capacity to develop first so it can grow.
Older generations get to know each other first, specially us Filipinos. Our way of courtship is so beautiful. From visiting the lady in her place. Picking her up during dates and bringing her home safely on time. Paying the bills and going extra mile to win her heart. Getting to know her together with her family and friends. A process that builds fire and stoking it to last. Our generation now seems to create a fireworks display; spectacular and beautiful at first but ends quickly as it began.
Do not awaken love until it so desires. - Song of songs 2:7
We are not allowing ourselves to create foundation. We are influenced by the "instant-gratification" mindset of our society. We change our status from 'single' into 'in a relationship' back to 'single' again. Leaving us frustrated and empty. Sadly, some of this relationships could have worked if only we give it time to develop, instead of putting so much pressure to bond too soon.
He has made everything beautiful in its time. - Ecclesiastes 3:11
Get to know the person first before committing. How this person reacts when pressured? When frustrated? When had failure? Is this someone shares the same values with you? Is this someone view the future as you do? It takes time to know these things. We cannot learn these quickly.
We may feel too much attraction to someone but if we allow our emotion to rule over us, we are doomed to fail. We start to create irrational decisions that backfire in the future.
Do not hurry. Do not be afraid that you might lose that someone in the process of building the foundation. FIND SOMEONE WHO SEES YOU. That someone WILL STAY and WILL WANT to build the foundation with you. As Jesus assures us that in love there's no fear. - 1 John 4:18.
We need to create foundation first to have the relationship that we wanted. Commit in stoking a fire, not a grand fireworks display.
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