ONE-SIDED FIGHT

Some part of this were from Emily Rella. We have almost the same things to say.


Sometimes, letting go of someone means putting an end to a one-sided fight. And when you can recognize it as that, everything becomes much easier.....(though it's still not easy for real..)




I got to a point where I realized that no matter what grandeur and good the future may have held for us, it could never take back the cowardice and apathy that I had seen before. I would never be able to erase that; I could forgive but not forget, and in not being able to forget, I would always see a different person.


I have accepted the fact that the love he has for that other woman is something I cannot change. He dream for her, long for her, so I decided to exclude myself from that equation. He cannot be with me while his heart is towards her. Day after day while we were together I felt his hesitation. I felt his heart wishing to be the man who's sitting next to her. Wishing that it's the both of them who has the picture of being a happy couple. I saw it all in his eyes. I felt it in the way he treated me. It cuts my soul and broke my heart. It's too painful. "So what's the sense of staying? " I told myself.

For the good of both of us a decision has been made. I had loved him, but I didn’t like him anymore.
Letting go doesn’t mean that all of the good goes away. I know that he is not a bad person; in fact, I still think he is wonderful. I know that his heart — though he often keep it tucked away and silenced — is big and capable of almost anything for those who he care about. And, of course, I miss him. I miss him so bad each day. Letting go of him doesn’t take any of that away.

I’ll admit that there are still parts of me that believe our story has been left unfinished. There are pages I’ll never be able to read and new chapters that I’ll never get to experience. Part of me still believes that these pages exist somewhere, floating around in the corners of some universe. We just weren’t able to find them and we’re never going to find them because this book has closed — and I’m the one who’s closing it.